Dreaming

I dream I’m dancing with the love of my life at our wedding only to wake up to real life where I dance in circles trying to find someone to become my one and only. I flip myself upside down and bed over backwards for men, and yet my journey still continues. But that’s ok…..let the adventure flow, i’m young……however I won’t be young forever and I pray for a happily ever beginning with someone who’s as excited about the gospel as I am and searches for that pure love that every little girl dreams of.

When I was a little girl I was constantly tending to my dolls. They were my everything and my whole hearted desire was to become a mommy. I still love for that blessing more than anyone will ever understand and I pray to become a strong enough women to bear children into this life and allow them to grow closer to their father in heaven. I am a nurturer. When a child cries or yells, my mother mode goes up…. I immediately feel the need to care for and provide a bushel of love, support, and encouragement that everything will be alright. As I continue to grow as a women this feeling becomes stronger and I find myself nurturing in situations that people would normally not be able to do so. I find myself diving into the impossible with my special needs kids almost everyday and longing to provided them with the ultimate care only to catch myself with a reminder that I am not their mother. Although they are with me for 28 hours every week…. I am not their mother. But one day I will be a mother and I will fully understand their needs and adapt to certain situations when it comes to life with children.

Have you ever caught yourself daydreaming…or thinking about something in particular?

ME TOO!!!!!

I catch myself all the time daydreaming about being married. Daydreaming about how I would want my wedding to be and daydreaming about every single detail… well I’ve found myself doing this so often that I thought…what the heck I’ll write about it, I’m sure that there are others out there that do the same thing!!

But you guys…… I have almost my entire wedding planned out on pinterest and when I say that.. I’m not kidding hahahahaha!!! I have the design of the invitations I want, I have price ranges, I’m making a list of people to send invitations too..I mean everything, from my wedding dress (which is still the hardest thing to find) to the food at the wedding, to the gifts for people who come, to activities for people who have kids and don’t want to find babysitter to my nails, hair, eyebrows eyelashes I mean EVERYTHING!!!!! I want to get married in the Salt Lake Temple. It’s so beautiful…I’ve dreamed of getting married in that temple and can’t wait to someday be sealed for all time and eternity to the love of my life. There is nothing more powerful then a temple marriage in my mind. That is something unforgettable. I truly hope to have the large majority of my friend be endowed so that they can come in and really be apart of my wedding. It makes me so happy to have family and friends around me that it will make me sad to see the people who will not be active in the church to at least have that recommend and fully know the power of what it is I will be partaking in. But for those who can not enter the temple, I hope to have an outdoor ceremony of my husband and I, just for them. I want everyone to really feel like they have participated in the wedding because the support means a lot and I think I would choose to do that ceremony before we did the temple ceremony, maybe about two hours before hand. We wouldn’t make it an exchange of the rings but maybe we would read some “Vow” type crap hahahahah and make it sweet and cute, making it special for everyone.

Anyways… I just really pray to be married happily in the temple one day and to find a worthy priesthood holder and to marry him and live an adventurous life. It might not be perfect…but we don’t marry into perfection…we marry into potential, and that’s all I ask for and all I’m looking for is that big spark…..where its the heart and mind that say its ok.

https://youtu.be/aeGnqCh60Ew  (Ryan O’Shaughnessy-Waiting)

 

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