Dancing through life

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Do you ever wish you could dance your way through life? I do all of the time. Sometimes I wish there was music playing in the air, and sometimes on really good days there seems like there is music in the air.

We really do take good days for granite. Things happen in a split second, that we wouldn’t think would or could happen and then just like that, the course of our lives change forever. We need to dance our way through life. We need to flow with the ups and downs of life and that is often hard to do.

Imagine this….you had a bad day. Your teacher gave you a project and you worked very hard on it… in your eyes it was A+ material… but your teacher said the project isn’t complete and there wasn’t enough effort put into it… so she gave you a C.

We walk past people on a daily basis and we have no clue of the so called metaphorical C that is making their life hard. We don’t know where they get the bread they eat or if they even eat. We don’t know who has stayed in their life and who has gone. This doesn’t just apply to strangers it applies to our friends too…. oh ya! We find out new things about our friends day by day. Friends have sat next to me on a daily basis thinking I was the happiest person on this planet.. but little did they know I was actually depressed. No one knew I had an alcoholic brother who is also special needs. I did’t need to tell anyone that. They didn’t know I grew up for the past 18 years of my life going to bed wondering who I would wake up to, if I would wake up to an ambulance outside my house, and they never knew my morning trips to school were the hardest I had ever faced.

We don’t know who goes to bed hungry, we don’t know who goes to bed on a floor and we don’t know which one of our friends could possibly be crying themselves to sleep every night and that’s why their tired everyday. We need be mindful of others and we need to dance our way through life… it’s not easy of course. But there are ways, and I’m going to share a personal story and how my life changed because of this and how I got my feet back on the ground and why I try to dance my way through life.

My sophomore and junior year of high school I was put into a special math class…one that consisted literally of about 6 people; and that was on a good day if everyone showed up. The course was called Math 3 Light. Seriously I am so bad at math it is not even funny, anyways…. I made some really amazing friends in that class. Life long friends that I will never forget, and I will never forget my 2 best friends in that class…Jerika Foster and Cheyenne Bagley. The 3 of us were a riot…..we caused all sorts of trouble in that class. Oh boy, I would stand on my chair trying to figure out an answer while Jerika would be listening to scream-o, concentrated on her math work, while wondering and asking why the heck we had to be there and Cheyenne……. well…. Chey would be doing her make up.

Junior year an occurrence of events happened in the course of 2 weeks. Events that changed the 3 of our lives forever. It started like a domino effect. I got in a car crash down a canyon with a friend and could have died. I got a concussion, from which we did not take care of till later on in the process because I did not get checked after the reck (never do that always get checked) and later found that I had serve effects of PTSD from which I could not sit in a car…go near a car.. get in a car… drive a car…. listen to a car…be driven in a car…. hear high pitched squeals….tires scrape the pavement…. or hear loud crashing noises. These things would cause me to go either into shock or have a complete anxiety attack. I will never forget my first anxiety attack. I literally thought I was dieing, and to make it all better it happened right before a performance for a freshman orientation. I was singing a solo and heard a huge squeal noise from what seemed to be the mic right before I went out…..took a deep breath got in my character, forgot about it, performed…and when I came off stage….it hit me. I didn’t feel safe. I felt like everything was closing in on me and I began to struggle with my breath. I couldn’t feel my legs and my back felt like it was about to fall off, the fist person I wanted automatically was one of my very best friends, Brandon. In this moment another good friend of mine was trying to calm me down like the great soul that he is. But seriously, I only wanted Brandon. He was studying to be an EMT and knew all of the things I knew not of. I was in desperation for him. When I realized that he wouldn’t be able to get there. I wanted my mom, brother, my dad and a blessing. I just wanted to have peace and not feel as if  I was being enclosed. My mom came back and got me. My father gave me a blessing when I got home and carried me inside because I couldn’t walk with how dizzy I was. Then my brother called and I was able to go to sleep that night. I am ok now, my math skills however are nearly gone and my memory is really not good. I have a harder time speaking. I used to speak really slow for some reason because of an area in my concussion that slowed me down. For the first few days I would stare a walls and have absolutely no thought. Nothing would be there other than fear, fear of almost loosing my friends life and my own, and although none of it was my fault, I felt like all of it was. I do better now, my normal speech patterns are almost back but I’m still slow in a couple of areas. But that’s ok. A few days after my crash…Jerika got into a car crash at the school. (how do I remember this all? I wrote it down in my journal. Journals writing is important  I have a strong belief in this, an advise you to do it.) She was pretty bruised up and her wrist was hurt along with her hand. Her hand was in a brace of some sort for a bit. But she was okay, she came into class mad about it all and telling us the whole story. She was hit by a girl that was going way too fast in the area. Thankfully Jerika was safe though, with some minor injuries out of the both of us we hoped for people to drive more carefully.

A few days later, Cheyenne got in a crash with two other members and friends of the school. One survived, and unfortunatly it was not Cheyenne….but we are grateful for the survivor.

Jerika and I spent our moments of class not knowing that they would be the very last moments we would have with Cheyenne that very day. And we spent those moments dancing. Cheyenne was so loving with life, we we’re blessed enough to spend our last moments in a class with the one person who presented the best example of how to dance your way through life. No matter what type of day Cheyenne was having she would come into class, and show us all that we can turn anything into a little bit of music, no matter what it may be: Friends, teachers, or hard assignment. Cheyenne gave a loving example of how to live life as a dance. How to get through the hard times with just by being yourself. Just by trusting your heart that you can do it.

Never go a day being ungrateful for what you have. Never go a moment not realizing the joys that you have. And don’t spend even a second….. telling yourself to stop dancing. Because I did that once…. I stopped dancing my way though life and I wondered why I couldn’t feel it anymore. Why I didn’t feel secure. Then a little birdie whispered in my ear….and she said……

“You just need to dance….”

I will always dance my way through life for Cheyenne and others. I will try my best to be the example that Cheyenne was. Loving, free, happy, and full of light.

Love every moment

Cherish every memory

And keep dancing through life.

 

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